love doesn't come around so often.

Sometimes people need to get away from reality, and for me, it's complicated. All I have to look forward to is smiles and laughter with my friends. It's enough to get me through the days, and I have to admit, i'm loving life the way it is now. No drama, no insecurities, just stressful exams. I don't really have anything to complain about. But sometimes I wish I could just fall in love, and meet a guy who is so perfect. I know I should just wait until it comes, but I tend to like guys who doesn't seem to meet me half way (if you know what I mean). True, it's easy to have a crush here and there but it is difficult to find someone to love. Why not now? When I'm ready. I may found those who could hold me, feel me, and love me, but they just don't feel the same way. I really want to wait, but now, when I'm matured (kinda (: ) to have a relationship, it never seems to come.

I wouldn't consider my past crushes is anything serious, it seems silly when I think it over again. God, how gullible I was to think they we're good enough for me. I should listen to my friends, when they say "fee, why him? you could find someone else" it's soooo true. I've never been confident when it comes to love. I'd feel insecure. Like I'm not noticeable enough for him. For now he may seem as a crush, but wherever the direction is, either love or friends no neither, I guess it's also not worth it. I want to put this one to an effort. (:

You're like the song in my ipod stuck in replay :D okayyyyyyyyyy, Cheesy much! I call him David Beckham, he's flawless and he takes my breath away. When he walks by me, it's like fresh breeze, of course I'd giggle at the sight of him. I like the look he has, that "hmmmmm........" look. I like the way he walks, the way he dresses, the way he is so shy. And better yet, he sings and plays guitar. Isn't that sexy? The first time I heard your voice yesterday, I couldn't stop smiling. :D I'd like to get to know you better ♥
I'm taking it slowly, and I hope you'd wait.
Wednesday is the day, I hope. It's either make it or break it. ):
I hope we will have a good start, I'll prove you wrong and I'm not what they say I am.

PS: I still think your voice is the cutest.

nope, i'm not regretting for confessing.

PS: His lips are sexy, the way he speaks is sexy, the way he dance is sexy. I can't stop listening to him sing. he respects women. ♥

You want to know how i'm feeling? (: well, I tell you now, if you just want to diss me GET OUT FROM MY PAGE. but if you really want to read: here it is.

I'm getting over a guy who is my so-called best friend. We used to be so close, talking carelessly and just having fun. Not until i fell for him. I confessed. And I guess he rejected. But i couldn't just drop the fact that i still have feelings for him. At first I didn't understand what i was feeling. Just thinking this is just a regular crush. the one i could just get over in a week or so. I haven't explained much about my feelings towards him. The fact that I might like take interest in someone, doesn't mean that i have sincere feelings for him. I don't fall inlike with someone that often.

One night i thought, what could hurt? i've faced more things than getting hurt. I'm strong they say. but i have a fragile heart, when i feel sad.. it takes along time to heal even if i put on a smile and laugh along.
That night i thought, after seeing a guy i fell for earlier this year walking in with 5 different girls, what could hurt me more than seeing him like that? I was wrong, as usual as i'm helplessly clueless about love.
I thought this could happen, seeing that it was going so perfectly. But i guess we were meant to be as friends. I'm happy that we could stay as friends. I don't mind. I thought this feeling could just vanish without being hurt. But whenever i see him, sure, i smile but deep inside my heart jumps. Jumps in a bad way.
No guy should leave a girl in hopes. It's pointless and stupid. And i fell for it.
I don't blame him, it's just me. I feel stupid to be thinking that i could do this.

Now i feel empty and just thoughtlessly dreaming. I prefer it this way, no heart pain. which is good. (:
I guess now, not to think about love and start being serious on my studies.
I am offically an Upper six student in Maktab duli
I'm sure i didnt do so good on my November AS. Well, this June I'll make sure I get all Cs above. amin.

*I saw my first shooting star. I wished upon it. (: and I hope it happens. I need all the luck i could get.

I'm at the stage where I don't regret doing the things I would not normally do. It is time for me to crack my shell and go out and see the world and let them see the side of me that they challage me to see.

I will miss you my dear cousin, have fun at Kota kinerbaluzzzz. :D Azimerbebeh.

I'll blog more soon.

With love, Mrs Tae Yang aka Fee. :)

Get away.

Okay, I have my AS Sociology tomorrow and I've only just started on Socialization. I have the whole day to cramp my head with all-things-Sociology.

My mood has been going up and down the meter for the past few days. And I think it's 'cause I'm inlike, my finals sucks, and my AS is coming up.

I really don't know what to think of... I think I'm retaining (if that is even possible) I guess my MPRs are fine. but my finals sucked.

I'll hope for the best.

♥

Goodluck to the people who's taking Os, AS, A2.

We'll do great, inshaAllah if we study hard.

♥

I think I like this someone, but I know we're not meant to be more than friends. I just can't explain it in words. When I see him, even in my not-so-good-mood, he never fails to cheer me up and make me smile the whole day.

The thing is, I denied anything going on between us.

Even if people think we look fine together, it's just that, I guess I'm just the one feeling it.

I noticed what I felt about him a week ago. I never thought it would happen since we were such good friends. I'm trying to get over the fact that I like this person more than a friend.

And this CAN'T happen.

But these feelings just came without any warning.

I may have crushes on Wonderboy and Superman.

These feelings were different because I loved the idea of liking them because of their "so-called" hot image. Like fans who praise on celebs.

But after getting to know him, I enjoy being around him, just talking about random things, like usual friends do. I don't know if he actually listens to my crap but he looks like he does.

They say I should ignore and avoid looking for him all the time. But I can't help it, I just love being around him so much.

Though, I'm willing enough to give him away to a girl he could be happy with.

For the past few days, I felt like I couldn't speak to him like I usually do without falling in deeper. Somehow, the only way to make me stay friends with him is to talk less to him, avoid one-on-one conversations. I know he doesn't notice it but, I hurt inside thinking we're not meant to be. I just want to be with someone who I can be around without being called a freak.

Men typically see me only as a best friend because I tend to understand guys more sometimes.

I'm not so ignorant.

It's stupid really, I'm falling for someone I can't have. I usually do.

I may like alot of guys during this year, but only one guy managed to win my heart properly and that was back in February.

I'm more of a friend first then a serious relationship. And yes, a VERY SERIOUS relationship is what I'm after.

He doesn't have to be handsome, cute, rich, poor, or disable. As long as he's got a goal and a passion for the future. He'll be the first to inspire me to do things I never thought possible.

♥

I do really want to explain how I feel but I can't seem to understand what I'm feeling.

I can't get him out of my mind!

I need him out of my mind!

urgh.

make over.

Well, I'm dye-ing my hair Dark Auburn. I want to see something different done to my hair. My virgin black hair (did try to dye once but didn't work)

Bye bye black, hello auburn.

Hope everything turns the right shade of colour. ♥

♥

To a lighter note:

Exams Finals are gonna be over TOMORROWWW.

But I have AS in a week. Greaaaaaaaaaaat.

Everything ends at 13th November!

Sighhh.

♥

This 10th of Oct, there is going to be a hari raya celebration at MD.

Not sure yet if I'm coming or not.

There isn't a memo about it so, update update soon?<3

♥

I think I like my ___________.

No worries, it's a guy. But I hope it's just a crush yes?

Friendship is better than a relationship unless it's worth being together.

And my answer is just friends. Sorry.

No hard feelings, but, I'm going with the flow I guess. See how things go. (:

♥

I just broke up with a so-called boytoy. (=O

Again, no hard feelings, it wasn't meant to be I guess.

For some of the people I told, you know what I mean :P

♥

PS: You're such a great friend, that's why I fell for you. )':

I just don't want to get hurt. nor do I want to hurt you too.

It's just complicated.

Break up to make up.

Everyone is going in and out of love around me. And I already got over the one I thought could make me happy. But, it still makes me wonder, what could've been if everything wasn't so complicated.

However, when I as just getting over him, I saw so many flaws that could've broken my heart 100 times if we were together. Being single and free brings out brighter things in life. We could see the world in a different point, where we don't have to feel guilty, be depressed of silly things, knowing he or she will never think or look twice at you.

Yes, they might have noticed, but it's not more than a gilmpse.

And yes, it made me 10 times happier to get over him.

But I feel like I could've tried harder, the 100 things that could've hurt me would be just silly things, just being with someone you love is more than you could have.

Being loved while you feel the same way.

Able to be who you are and he wouldn't care about what, his main aim would be to cheer you up.

I can't remember what "real" love is.. not that I've felt it.

First love is another thing.

But love during the age we could think for ourself is another.

Mature Love in other words. Where we won't be scared to express our feelings about anything.

I forgot what it felt like to love someone and is loved back.

It's been years since I've truely felt for someone so seriously.

I don't know when I like someone, either it's just a normal crush or the feeling of love.

There is alot of definition of love:

Self love, Friend love, Partner love, True love, Soul mates, etc.

♥

Boy, if we could've been. :D I'll smile the whole way to every bad thing in a year's worth of tears.

♥

I've been reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally picky with guys, and maybe that is my problem. I just don't see their true side to love. It doesn't convince me at all either they are really inlove or just playing something.

And I also don't believe in falling in love from the internet. I know we interact naturally and with conversations that could be lovely and sweet. But it doesn't get to me.

I believe in meeting the person then contact.

♥

I'm happy for the people around me with their partners, it makes me want to just have one too.

But, I just haven't found the one who could make me blush or smile all day long. I thought I did. But damn was I wrong :P

Love will always come to us when we're not looking.

♥

I should enjoy my single life! I am but I just can't help but wonder what it feelings like to love. Yes, it's fun to flirt around and just come home knowing you're not the only one single.

Being single isn't a bad thing right?

It's just that we haven't found the "right" one.

♥

Can't wait to feel what everyone else is feeling.

With love, Fee.

PS: I HAVE THINKING SKILLS TOMORROWWWWW. :S