photo shoot spread out

okay, in my mind... all i could think about is having another photo shoot:



its not done yet. so get back to this some other time.

i keep it locked inside.

Key to my Heart - Jessica Jarrell
It's how I'm feeling for you, it is so true. :'(



Boy you put me on the spot I don't know what to say
But I'm trying anyway
Like my hearts gonna drop
My mind drifts away and I can't control the pains

Words are spinning in my head
Don't know why I'm holding back
I should just tell you how I'm feeling yeah heh

But I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

The more I brush it off
Tell myself it's nothing at all
Deeper I fall
And I imagine everyday
A thousand different ways
How you respond to what I say

Am I getting lost in my dreams?
Are you unreachable to me?
Cause these butterflies just won't go away

I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

But if I never tell you then you'll never know
And the secret is get-ting heavy to hold
This is more than just a crush
So I may stut-ter when I speak
And my knees may get a little weak
But I've got nothing to lose and only you to gain
Tell me do you feel the same

But I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

all looking pretty.

the holidays are here! (:

I cut my hair! i'm still getting used to it so.... I still can't work it~

the dye is around my fringe.. which is kinda funny. Might redye it soon, maybe a light brown? :)
it had been 3 days of the holidays and IT'S BORING! There's nothing to do but homework, and I'm too lazy to go out. I've just started doing my English literature homework, which is just mainly designing things.. so i'm have a blast there.
I'm currently going to facials, 'cause i complained to my mum i looked ugly one day. So now... this is what i get. aiyaa. and this wed, i'm going to another facial to check the results. I hope no more picik picik. ): damn.
"no pain, no gain" - Ron would say that to me.
I had a study group with Ryna and Lynn yesterday, but we ended up watching Dear John, which was sad and.. romantic. (the fact that they couldn't stop bullying me about db was.. embarrassing)
oh i just remembered, last night Ron chatted with me. He said "no wonder Rimba hujan ah, Ryna nangis bah." teehee.
Hi rynn, if you're reading.
And so today, we're going to have another study group, hope we'll do SOMETHING productive. hehehe. no more watch watch his video aaah?~
I'm still sleepy, it's 10.35am.. I should take a shower now and get ready to go to Rynas'
I'll blog more soon. InshaAllah.
ps: there isn't time to think of what is what, and what's not. just go with the flow, and get over all the pain. leave the judgment to Allah.

♥

heatbeat keeps racing.

"N oh.. Btw.. Nya c _____ lpas cuti tah ya talk to you =D"

yes, that made my holiday. (:

♥

away.

i feel depressed.

Accounting ):

Accounting SUCKS.
My exams are tomorrow and this is the first time I'm facing a subject where I'm not ready to take it. I seriously don't know what I'm going to do! I've studied, but every question seems DIFFERENT. hoi.

ps: i wish you'd sing to me. ♥

Vintage wish.

one of those days.

Okay, it's one of those days when I feel bored. (:
i miss my cousin Azimah Rosli!
Goofing around and non stop conversations until the early morning, and jogging the next day as if we have enough energy :p♥
I know you've been waiting for this love.My recommend songs:
Usher - Hey daddy's (daddy's home)
Colbie Cailliat - I never told you
Train - Hey, soul sister.
♥
Seriously, it's sexy.

www.modcloth.com

I cried because I can't have you.

I wish I kept you a secret, so in my own world you'd be my prince that I'd run away with. You used to be an unrealized fantasy that I did not ponder on. You were just an image I'd look at, a boy I'd just simply smile at without realizing the possibilities. I'd never have expected to have feelings for you. And yet here I am, not too long ago that I'd started to see you in a different light, somehow now when you pass by my heart beats twice as fast, I'd smile to myself thinking of you. Although you will never see me, to you I'd bend in the crowds. You'd stand out, and I wish this was a secret.
I feel confused, what is this feeling I'm feeling? Is it a crush? Is it just curiosity? Is it another way to forget someone? I believe you were the only way I could escape this stress. I'd like to think this is a feeling, I want to believe. But I can't lie to myself knowing I can have you, but in reality, I don't even know you. I'm upset because I fell for you and you don't even know me.
People may not understand what I'm feeling, it's more to blaming myself for falling, not knowing that this is going to hurt. Yes, I've done it once, assuming too much and getting disappointed all over again.I'm trying to slow down this feeling, wait until I'm certain, but I can't just either stop or keep going.
♥
Okay, I seriously need to study. I'll start working on it tomorrow. ♥

Ps: all i could think of is you. ♥

"wherever there is a mole, there you are"

Today was funnnnn. (: i like. So many things happened today. My god, anything could happen and change the things you've got planned.

Well, this morning everything was dull and rainy. Today was relaxing to me, (no accounting, we didn't do anything for GP) and i decided to have my PS. My heart couldn't stop fluttering, my friends kept on teasing me about DB, yea, I just couldn't wait to see him (: Everyone has been asking me who's DB. You'd just have to figure out BY YOURSELF. Please don't ask around, it's embarrassing. And once you know, just keep it to yourself. ): I'm to... idk, it's just awkward. It's not even official.

Oh, I saw him laugh and smile for the first time. (: teeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeee. So anyways, in the afternoon I didn't have Accounting class, so I went down early. That's when I caught a glimpse of his smile. OH. hehehe i'm still angau.

Ryna wanted me to blog something, Hi rynn. If you're reading. I'll blog at the bottom ah? sabar.

So at around 3+ Kojack picked us up for late lunch at Nyonya (sp?) (:
In the car Jeebs and Nad kept on mentioning I keep on saying OMG, like shizzzzzzzz. haha cali lah.
So when we got back to school, it was around 4, Jeebs and Ryna were the first to go home, so it was Me and Nad. I was bored so we walked over to DB sitting area. (: and I talked about why and how it's just, maybe just a feeling or I really want this. I just don't know. I didn't really have much time talking to them. Just telling them what I felt and stuff.
♥

So here Ryna's post:
Hi rynn, you want to know what I want to blog about? I want to blog about why I think David Beckham won't notice me. Well, firstly, I just think I'm not his type, sure we could be friends, it's just that, what makes him want to change what's he's comfortable with? Being around his friends, just being on the down low. While I'm loud, silly and loves to be around people. Why would he notice a girl like me? sure notice as in sees around, but nothing special.
I'll continue blogging nanti. I don't know what to blog about...

love doesn't come around so often.

Sometimes people need to get away from reality, and for me, it's complicated. All I have to look forward to is smiles and laughter with my friends. It's enough to get me through the days, and I have to admit, i'm loving life the way it is now. No drama, no insecurities, just stressful exams. I don't really have anything to complain about. But sometimes I wish I could just fall in love, and meet a guy who is so perfect. I know I should just wait until it comes, but I tend to like guys who doesn't seem to meet me half way (if you know what I mean). True, it's easy to have a crush here and there but it is difficult to find someone to love. Why not now? When I'm ready. I may found those who could hold me, feel me, and love me, but they just don't feel the same way. I really want to wait, but now, when I'm matured (kinda (: ) to have a relationship, it never seems to come.

I wouldn't consider my past crushes is anything serious, it seems silly when I think it over again. God, how gullible I was to think they we're good enough for me. I should listen to my friends, when they say "fee, why him? you could find someone else" it's soooo true. I've never been confident when it comes to love. I'd feel insecure. Like I'm not noticeable enough for him. For now he may seem as a crush, but wherever the direction is, either love or friends no neither, I guess it's also not worth it. I want to put this one to an effort. (:

You're like the song in my ipod stuck in replay :D okayyyyyyyyyy, Cheesy much! I call him David Beckham, he's flawless and he takes my breath away. When he walks by me, it's like fresh breeze, of course I'd giggle at the sight of him. I like the look he has, that "hmmmmm........" look. I like the way he walks, the way he dresses, the way he is so shy. And better yet, he sings and plays guitar. Isn't that sexy? The first time I heard your voice yesterday, I couldn't stop smiling. :D I'd like to get to know you better ♥
I'm taking it slowly, and I hope you'd wait.
Wednesday is the day, I hope. It's either make it or break it. ):
I hope we will have a good start, I'll prove you wrong and I'm not what they say I am.

PS: I still think your voice is the cutest.

Hello readers.

I'm going to be blogging soon. (:

with love, Fee. ♥

Tears won't get you anything.

Hello people, I haven't been blogging for awhile since there is no Internet access at home. Bummer. Anyways, it's the 3rd week of U6 and i think A2 is easier than AS. Maybe this is because i feel more dedicated to do my work than last year.

I'm at a place where I don't want to think about childish things and try to aim good grades to go on the next stages of life. I had it easy, the fact that I failed malay is nothing... I have to do better for form 6. It's not as easy as Os, even if you don't study you would get Bs and As.

And i'm at the place where I want to do something about my weight. Yes, I admit 100x and more that i'm not fit. I'd like to lose weight before my next appointment to the doctors. Maybe I'd drop 20kg :D hahaha being optimistic. It's good to be positive right? ):

I skipped THS yesterday... cause i knew we weren't going to do anything but sit there in the ICT room and look at pointless websites. Sigh.I MUST promise myself that..... i will TRY to avoid skipping. Accounting I have got to put an effort in it cause I need 150% to pass that crappy subject. ):

I have so many things to say and i'll try to do it on this one post 'cause i don't know when i can update: SO here goes!!!

3 weeks of school and my cousin tells me i look darker. :\ maybe that's because i put an effort on jogging lately. I don't want to jog at my kpg, the cars are TOO "FAST AND FURIOS." urgh...

I would do everything it takes to be with my grandad until he goes. ♥

Okay... hahaha i forgot what i was about to type.. but i'l update soon

with love, Fee ♥

"si tae yang.. inda kamu tau si tae yang"

Okay, it's almost the end of December.. And i have to admit i guess this holiday is the most challenging and emotionally draining experience i have ever had.
I don't want to get into it much, it's just annoying that people can't understand the situation i'm in.

Fly away with me.

I just realized I have 5 days until I go to kk, and 6 DAYS until i turn 18 :\
I FEEL OLD.
Freeeeedooooooooooooooooooooom.
I might go to Miri tomorrow too. To buy contacts and specs.
I don't feel like blogging much.
With love, Fee. <3

Why do people see someone as if they don't have feelings?

Straight to the point, I don't see why people judge people from what they've heard and what they see without getting to know that person.
People is mistaken between shy with proud, joking to dissing.
They'd avoid me, who clearly had personally problems as if i'm going to infect them with something.
You know what's isn't fair? while they're dissing me, I don't diss them. You want to know why? because i don't know them, there is nothing to diss when i dont even know them? sure if you knew me for years, yes.. you have certain things you annoyed of.
But people who hear stories about me and diss me like they've know me that's like fucked up.
Why do you like dissing people for no reason? Did i ever did anything to you? eventhou i'm annoying it doesn't give you the right to diss and hate me.
I'm not trying to be mihir or anything but as a muslim, hate is just a sin. why be sinful for something silly?
So if you're dissing me now, lets see if you'd be successful or not (:
"You don't belong here."
Apadey, This is my country.
What's up with that? Sure I don't belong in your circle but why would I want to be? If you don't respect me then don't hope for my respect.
MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS. (:
♥
Sure, I'm not perfect. I admit with all my heart. But there isn't no point to hate someone just for what you did. I don't hate anyone because it's against who i am.
I don't want to care much. But if you're so lifeless to be still dissing me? what would you get? You wouldn't get any deeds, only sins.
And here to tell you, to just buss off okay? my life, my lies, my dresms. It's my choice to do what I want. Even if you don't like it.
You don't see me saying "ish, annoying jua org ani."
And even if you try to diss me, sure i get hurt, but I'll just smile because I have no comment. why would i comment someone as stupid to be dissing for no reason?
And another thing, everyone has insecurities.
These insecurities are what makes me special, what makes me the actual me.
Deal with it: I'm annoying, loud and maybe too bubbly?
Eventhou you hate me, I'll still smile. There isn't anything to be bitchy about.
♥
You should be grateful, I'm never mad at someone more than 10 mins. Even this i'm writing this post, I've cooled down just after 2 paragraph.
♥
Well, i'm done. (: so, just shut up. Stop dissing.. Bedusa saja. iatah kamu mau tu? mun awu, keep doing it then.
With love, Fee. ♥

okay okay.. you copy down my no.

Well, since the december party is happening we needed to find a Dj and I came across one. So he wanted my no. so he could call me. So we were on the phone. hahaha. cali. (:
Ajim couldn't stop laughing at me. pacah kali.

What a girl wants....

Okay, it's been 2+ weeks of the holidays and i haven't even started to study anything for AS.
Not that i don't put education first, it's just that I'm more dedicated to get my grandad health than my studies. I could not think straight when i havent seen his face, or get any news either bad or good. At least in one day, he DOES revolve around me.

*my cousin, Azimah rosli is currently making fun of Super Junior.* - She's trying to sing Sorry Sorry. -_-'

Anyways, Ryna wanted me to blog about guys. hahaha so yea. (: here it is.
I want a guy with a smile that would make my heart flutter.
I want a guy who could handle me, as to say:
- be there when i'm totally random.
- He doesn't have to be handsome, cute, but as long as he has that killer smile. He'd win my heart anytime
- someone who could understand how i think, understand my mood.
Mostly a guy who could be my best friend. (:

Well, i'm sick of falling in love and not getting it right. It's kind of complicated you see.
It's like, I had a first boyfriend when i was 11. and i think that was the only serious relationship i had.

So i'm saying i don't consider the other relationships i had is anything but childs play. I was in a relationship without any feeling towards the guys (sorry :\)
And i usually end the relationship.
I feel guilty for breaking hearts. hahaha i'd like to think i'm single because that's the karma.

But nevermind, it's not the right time to be in a relationship since i can be easily lose focus on my studies bla bla bla (:

The end. *yawns.

*now jimah is touching me* -_-

Aren't they cute?

Fo sho'

I want to draw:

For AzimahR
Why: 'cause i'm bored that she's not here. ):

Okay, done blogging. (: