Let the music roam free.

photo shoot spread out

2010-07-25T03:03:00.001-07:00

okay, in my mind... all i could think about is having another photo shoot:

its not done yet. so get back to this some other time.

i keep it locked inside.

2010-06-08T02:36:00.001-07:00

Key to my Heart - Jessica Jarrell
It's how I'm feeling for you, it is so true. :'(

Boy you put me on the spot I don't know what to say
But I'm trying anyway
Like my hearts gonna drop
My mind drifts away and I can't control the pains

Words are spinning in my head
Don't know why I'm holding back
I should just tell you how I'm feeling yeah heh

But I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

The more I brush it off
Tell myself it's nothing at all
Deeper I fall
And I imagine everyday
A thousand different ways
How you respond to what I say

Am I getting lost in my dreams?
Are you unreachable to me?
Cause these butterflies just won't go away

I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

But if I never tell you then you'll never know
And the secret is get-ting heavy to hold
This is more than just a crush
So I may stut-ter when I speak
And my knees may get a little weak
But I've got nothing to lose and only you to gain
Tell me do you feel the same

But I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

all looking pretty.

2010-06-04T02:50:00.000-07:00

the holidays are here! (:

I cut my hair! i'm still getting used to it so.... I still can't work it~

the dye is around my fringe.. which is kinda funny. Might redye it soon, maybe a light brown? :)
it had been 3 days of the holidays and IT'S BORING! There's nothing to do but homework, and I'm too lazy to go out. I've just started doing my English literature homework, which is just mainly designing things.. so i'm have a blast there.
I'm currently going to facials, 'cause i complained to my mum i looked ugly one day. So now... this is what i get. aiyaa. and this wed, i'm going to another facial to check the results. I hope no more picik picik. ): damn.
"no pain, no gain" - Ron would say that to me.
I had a study group with Ryna and Lynn yesterday, but we ended up watching Dear John, which was sad and.. romantic. (the fact that they couldn't stop bullying me about db was.. embarrassing)
oh i just remembered, last night Ron chatted with me. He said "no wonder Rimba hujan ah, Ryna nangis bah." teehee.
Hi rynn, if you're reading.
And so today, we're going to have another study group, hope we'll do SOMETHING productive. hehehe. no more watch watch his video aaah?~
I'm still sleepy, it's 10.35am.. I should take a shower now and get ready to go to Rynas'
I'll blog more soon. InshaAllah.
ps: there isn't time to think of what is what, and what's not. just go with the flow, and get over all the pain. leave the judgment to Allah.

♥

heatbeat keeps racing.

2010-06-03T05:38:00.000-07:00

"N oh.. Btw.. Nya c _____ lpas cuti tah ya talk to you =D"

yes, that made my holiday. (:

♥

away.

2010-05-25T05:12:00.000-07:00

i feel depressed.

Accounting ):

2010-05-23T06:32:00.000-07:00

Accounting SUCKS.
My exams are tomorrow and this is the first time I'm facing a subject where I'm not ready to take it. I seriously don't know what I'm going to do! I've studied, but every question seems DIFFERENT. hoi.

ps: i wish you'd sing to me. ♥

Vintage wish.

2010-05-08T20:33:00.000-07:00

one of those days.

2010-05-07T00:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's one of those days when I feel bored. (:
i miss my cousin Azimah Rosli!
Goofing around and non stop conversations until the early morning, and jogging the next day as if we have enough energy :p♥
I know you've been waiting for this love.My recommend songs:
Usher - Hey daddy's (daddy's home)
Colbie Cailliat - I never told you
Train - Hey, soul sister.
♥
Seriously, it's sexy.

www.modcloth.com

I cried because I can't have you.

2010-05-04T03:55:00.000-07:00

I wish I kept you a secret, so in my own world you'd be my prince that I'd run away with. You used to be an unrealized fantasy that I did not ponder on. You were just an image I'd look at, a boy I'd just simply smile at without realizing the possibilities. I'd never have expected to have feelings for you. And yet here I am, not too long ago that I'd started to see you in a different light, somehow now when you pass by my heart beats twice as fast, I'd smile to myself thinking of you. Although you will never see me, to you I'd bend in the crowds. You'd stand out, and I wish this was a secret.
I feel confused, what is this feeling I'm feeling? Is it a crush? Is it just curiosity? Is it another way to forget someone? I believe you were the only way I could escape this stress. I'd like to think this is a feeling, I want to believe. But I can't lie to myself knowing I can have you, but in reality, I don't even know you. I'm upset because I fell for you and you don't even know me.
People may not understand what I'm feeling, it's more to blaming myself for falling, not knowing that this is going to hurt. Yes, I've done it once, assuming too much and getting disappointed all over again.I'm trying to slow down this feeling, wait until I'm certain, but I can't just either stop or keep going.
♥
Okay, I seriously need to study. I'll start working on it tomorrow. ♥

Ps: all i could think of is you. ♥

"wherever there is a mole, there you are"

2010-05-03T06:06:00.000-07:00

Today was funnnnn. (: i like. So many things happened today. My god, anything could happen and change the things you've got planned.

Well, this morning everything was dull and rainy. Today was relaxing to me, (no accounting, we didn't do anything for GP) and i decided to have my PS. My heart couldn't stop fluttering, my friends kept on teasing me about DB, yea, I just couldn't wait to see him (: Everyone has been asking me who's DB. You'd just have to figure out BY YOURSELF. Please don't ask around, it's embarrassing. And once you know, just keep it to yourself. ): I'm to... idk, it's just awkward. It's not even official.

Oh, I saw him laugh and smile for the first time. (: teeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeee. So anyways, in the afternoon I didn't have Accounting class, so I went down early. That's when I caught a glimpse of his smile. OH. hehehe i'm still angau.

Ryna wanted me to blog something, Hi rynn. If you're reading. I'll blog at the bottom ah? sabar.

So at around 3+ Kojack picked us up for late lunch at Nyonya (sp?) (:
In the car Jeebs and Nad kept on mentioning I keep on saying OMG, like shizzzzzzzz. haha cali lah.
So when we got back to school, it was around 4, Jeebs and Ryna were the first to go home, so it was Me and Nad. I was bored so we walked over to DB sitting area. (: and I talked about why and how it's just, maybe just a feeling or I really want this. I just don't know. I didn't really have much time talking to them. Just telling them what I felt and stuff.
♥

So here Ryna's post:
Hi rynn, you want to know what I want to blog about? I want to blog about why I think David Beckham won't notice me. Well, firstly, I just think I'm not his type, sure we could be friends, it's just that, what makes him want to change what's he's comfortable with? Being around his friends, just being on the down low. While I'm loud, silly and loves to be around people. Why would he notice a girl like me? sure notice as in sees around, but nothing special.
I'll continue blogging nanti. I don't know what to blog about...

love doesn't come around so often.

2010-05-02T05:57:00.000-07:00

Sometimes people need to get away from reality, and for me, it's complicated. All I have to look forward to is smiles and laughter with my friends. It's enough to get me through the days, and I have to admit, i'm loving life the way it is now. No drama, no insecurities, just stressful exams. I don't really have anything to complain about. But sometimes I wish I could just fall in love, and meet a guy who is so perfect. I know I should just wait until it comes, but I tend to like guys who doesn't seem to meet me half way (if you know what I mean). True, it's easy to have a crush here and there but it is difficult to find someone to love. Why not now? When I'm ready. I may found those who could hold me, feel me, and love me, but they just don't feel the same way. I really want to wait, but now, when I'm matured (kinda (: ) to have a relationship, it never seems to come.

I wouldn't consider my past crushes is anything serious, it seems silly when I think it over again. God, how gullible I was to think they we're good enough for me. I should listen to my friends, when they say "fee, why him? you could find someone else" it's soooo true. I've never been confident when it comes to love. I'd feel insecure. Like I'm not noticeable enough for him. For now he may seem as a crush, but wherever the direction is, either love or friends no neither, I guess it's also not worth it. I want to put this one to an effort. (:

You're like the song in my ipod stuck in replay :D okayyyyyyyyyy, Cheesy much! I call him David Beckham, he's flawless and he takes my breath away. When he walks by me, it's like fresh breeze, of course I'd giggle at the sight of him. I like the look he has, that "hmmmmm........" look. I like the way he walks, the way he dresses, the way he is so shy. And better yet, he sings and plays guitar. Isn't that sexy? The first time I heard your voice yesterday, I couldn't stop smiling. :D I'd like to get to know you better ♥
I'm taking it slowly, and I hope you'd wait.
Wednesday is the day, I hope. It's either make it or break it. ):
I hope we will have a good start, I'll prove you wrong and I'm not what they say I am.

PS: I still think your voice is the cutest.

Hello readers.

2010-04-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be blogging soon. (:

with love, Fee. ♥

Tears won't get you anything.

2010-01-21T21:44:00.000-08:00

Hello people, I haven't been blogging for awhile since there is no Internet access at home. Bummer. Anyways, it's the 3rd week of U6 and i think A2 is easier than AS. Maybe this is because i feel more dedicated to do my work than last year.

I'm at a place where I don't want to think about childish things and try to aim good grades to go on the next stages of life. I had it easy, the fact that I failed malay is nothing... I have to do better for form 6. It's not as easy as Os, even if you don't study you would get Bs and As.

And i'm at the place where I want to do something about my weight. Yes, I admit 100x and more that i'm not fit. I'd like to lose weight before my next appointment to the doctors. Maybe I'd drop 20kg :D hahaha being optimistic. It's good to be positive right? ):

I skipped THS yesterday... cause i knew we weren't going to do anything but sit there in the ICT room and look at pointless websites. Sigh.I MUST promise myself that..... i will TRY to avoid skipping. Accounting I have got to put an effort in it cause I need 150% to pass that crappy subject. ):

I have so many things to say and i'll try to do it on this one post 'cause i don't know when i can update: SO here goes!!!

3 weeks of school and my cousin tells me i look darker. :\ maybe that's because i put an effort on jogging lately. I don't want to jog at my kpg, the cars are TOO "FAST AND FURIOS." urgh...

I would do everything it takes to be with my grandad until he goes. ♥

Okay... hahaha i forgot what i was about to type.. but i'l update soon

with love, Fee ♥

"si tae yang.. inda kamu tau si tae yang"

2009-12-27T23:41:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's almost the end of December.. And i have to admit i guess this holiday is the most challenging and emotionally draining experience i have ever had.
I don't want to get into it much, it's just annoying that people can't understand the situation i'm in.

Fly away with me.

2009-12-19T20:27:00.000-08:00

I just realized I have 5 days until I go to kk, and 6 DAYS until i turn 18 :\
I FEEL OLD.
Freeeeedooooooooooooooooooooom.
I might go to Miri tomorrow too. To buy contacts and specs.
I don't feel like blogging much.
With love, Fee. <3

Why do people see someone as if they don't have feelings?

2009-12-16T22:17:00.000-08:00

Straight to the point, I don't see why people judge people from what they've heard and what they see without getting to know that person.
People is mistaken between shy with proud, joking to dissing.
They'd avoid me, who clearly had personally problems as if i'm going to infect them with something.
You know what's isn't fair? while they're dissing me, I don't diss them. You want to know why? because i don't know them, there is nothing to diss when i dont even know them? sure if you knew me for years, yes.. you have certain things you annoyed of.
But people who hear stories about me and diss me like they've know me that's like fucked up.
Why do you like dissing people for no reason? Did i ever did anything to you? eventhou i'm annoying it doesn't give you the right to diss and hate me.
I'm not trying to be mihir or anything but as a muslim, hate is just a sin. why be sinful for something silly?
So if you're dissing me now, lets see if you'd be successful or not (:
"You don't belong here."
Apadey, This is my country.
What's up with that? Sure I don't belong in your circle but why would I want to be? If you don't respect me then don't hope for my respect.
MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS. (:
♥
Sure, I'm not perfect. I admit with all my heart. But there isn't no point to hate someone just for what you did. I don't hate anyone because it's against who i am.
I don't want to care much. But if you're so lifeless to be still dissing me? what would you get? You wouldn't get any deeds, only sins.
And here to tell you, to just buss off okay? my life, my lies, my dresms. It's my choice to do what I want. Even if you don't like it.
You don't see me saying "ish, annoying jua org ani."
And even if you try to diss me, sure i get hurt, but I'll just smile because I have no comment. why would i comment someone as stupid to be dissing for no reason?
And another thing, everyone has insecurities.
These insecurities are what makes me special, what makes me the actual me.
Deal with it: I'm annoying, loud and maybe too bubbly?
Eventhou you hate me, I'll still smile. There isn't anything to be bitchy about.
♥
You should be grateful, I'm never mad at someone more than 10 mins. Even this i'm writing this post, I've cooled down just after 2 paragraph.
♥
Well, i'm done. (: so, just shut up. Stop dissing.. Bedusa saja. iatah kamu mau tu? mun awu, keep doing it then.
With love, Fee. ♥

okay okay.. you copy down my no.

2009-12-16T02:25:00.000-08:00

Well, since the december party is happening we needed to find a Dj and I came across one. So he wanted my no. so he could call me. So we were on the phone. hahaha. cali. (:
Ajim couldn't stop laughing at me. pacah kali.

What a girl wants....

2009-12-15T01:53:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's been 2+ weeks of the holidays and i haven't even started to study anything for AS.
Not that i don't put education first, it's just that I'm more dedicated to get my grandad health than my studies. I could not think straight when i havent seen his face, or get any news either bad or good. At least in one day, he DOES revolve around me.

*my cousin, Azimah rosli is currently making fun of Super Junior.* - She's trying to sing Sorry Sorry. -_-'

Anyways, Ryna wanted me to blog about guys. hahaha so yea. (: here it is.
I want a guy with a smile that would make my heart flutter.
I want a guy who could handle me, as to say:
- be there when i'm totally random.
- He doesn't have to be handsome, cute, but as long as he has that killer smile. He'd win my heart anytime
- someone who could understand how i think, understand my mood.
Mostly a guy who could be my best friend. (:

Well, i'm sick of falling in love and not getting it right. It's kind of complicated you see.
It's like, I had a first boyfriend when i was 11. and i think that was the only serious relationship i had.

So i'm saying i don't consider the other relationships i had is anything but childs play. I was in a relationship without any feeling towards the guys (sorry :\)
And i usually end the relationship.
I feel guilty for breaking hearts. hahaha i'd like to think i'm single because that's the karma.

But nevermind, it's not the right time to be in a relationship since i can be easily lose focus on my studies bla bla bla (:

The end. *yawns.

*now jimah is touching me* -_-

Aren't they cute?

2009-12-11T08:06:00.000-08:00

Fo sho'

2009-12-11T07:39:00.001-08:00

I want to draw:

For AzimahR
Why: 'cause i'm bored that she's not here. ):

Okay, done blogging. (:

"It's BIG BANG!" - T.O.P

2009-12-08T06:11:00.000-08:00

Azimah Edited. (: I think Tae Yang is forever be the cutest Korean..
Ohhh~ i sooooooooooooo want to watch Big Bang.

nope, i'm not regretting for confessing.

2009-12-07T08:51:00.000-08:00

PS: His lips are sexy, the way he speaks is sexy, the way he dance is sexy. I can't stop listening to him sing. he respects women. ♥

You want to know how i'm feeling? (: well, I tell you now, if you just want to diss me GET OUT FROM MY PAGE. but if you really want to read: here it is.

I'm getting over a guy who is my so-called best friend. We used to be so close, talking carelessly and just having fun. Not until i fell for him. I confessed. And I guess he rejected. But i couldn't just drop the fact that i still have feelings for him. At first I didn't understand what i was feeling. Just thinking this is just a regular crush. the one i could just get over in a week or so. I haven't explained much about my feelings towards him. The fact that I might like take interest in someone, doesn't mean that i have sincere feelings for him. I don't fall inlike with someone that often.

One night i thought, what could hurt? i've faced more things than getting hurt. I'm strong they say. but i have a fragile heart, when i feel sad.. it takes along time to heal even if i put on a smile and laugh along.
That night i thought, after seeing a guy i fell for earlier this year walking in with 5 different girls, what could hurt me more than seeing him like that? I was wrong, as usual as i'm helplessly clueless about love.
I thought this could happen, seeing that it was going so perfectly. But i guess we were meant to be as friends. I'm happy that we could stay as friends. I don't mind. I thought this feeling could just vanish without being hurt. But whenever i see him, sure, i smile but deep inside my heart jumps. Jumps in a bad way.
No guy should leave a girl in hopes. It's pointless and stupid. And i fell for it.
I don't blame him, it's just me. I feel stupid to be thinking that i could do this.

Now i feel empty and just thoughtlessly dreaming. I prefer it this way, no heart pain. which is good. (:
I guess now, not to think about love and start being serious on my studies.
I am offically an Upper six student in Maktab duli
I'm sure i didnt do so good on my November AS. Well, this June I'll make sure I get all Cs above. amin.

*I saw my first shooting star. I wished upon it. (: and I hope it happens. I need all the luck i could get.

I'm at the stage where I don't regret doing the things I would not normally do. It is time for me to crack my shell and go out and see the world and let them see the side of me that they challage me to see.

I will miss you my dear cousin, have fun at Kota kinerbaluzzzz. :D Azimerbebeh.

I'll blog more soon.

With love, Mrs Tae Yang aka Fee. :)

He's hot and I like it.

2009-12-04T22:03:00.000-08:00

Alot of things happened and is about to happen. (:
Firsty, I'm done and over with my crush.
Secondly, the december party is GOING TO HAPPEN!
Thirdly, My grandad is doing fine. and recovering well.

The Fee.

2009-12-01T04:21:00.000-08:00

(: new obsession.

2009-11-30T22:53:00.000-08:00

"Jimm's here. HAHA. I accidently brought her to the "korean-are-so-addictive" world. TEEHEE." - AzimahR ♥

(: okay, Dong Young Bae is the first "asian" artist i like. haha, why? because i'm never interested in the typical asian looking people :D
And everyone agrees Milo is HOT. *slurps.

I'm bored, my mood is abit happier. (:

It's music all around.

2009-11-30T18:51:00.000-08:00

It's december, another 26 days until i turn 18! :O I feel so old. Legal but old.
Right now it is raining. i think i fits with my mood, I'm not sure if i'm happy or sad.
I think i'm both.
I feel like i've left something behind. With all of the dilemma i've been through, now I feel so broken down to bits that I will not understand, and I don't know what could bring me back up.
The reason to smile is limited, I should've listened to my friends.
"Just forget about him, you'll just end up hurt."
But again, i couldn't help wonder. :\ i still do like him, and the fact that he does want me to forget
my feelings for him hurts.
I will get over it eventually. Just slowly I guess.
"I realized that you're not in a good mood"
I've just got to an understanding, I will never get ANY guy i end up liking.
My grandad's sick.
So, what's the point of liking someone?
Let's just break my heart all over again and get over with it.

Holiday fever.

2009-11-28T03:33:00.000-08:00

HOLIDAYS. (:
PS: I don't let people walk over me twice, don't make me dislike you. I'd like to keep you as someone I could look forward to see at school. ♥
Taken by Azimah Rosli.

I want:

2009-11-28T01:28:00.000-08:00

I'd want an Skull Candy headphones, Rocketdog flats, a new Guess watch, and a iphone please?
I also want loads of loads of outfits, and handbags and and MAKE UP. :D
I'm going to KK for my birthday, so I'm not sure if the party will commence.
Maybe we'll celebrate during new years. (:
♥ ♥ ♥
PS: babah, babah ke KL belikan adik somethingg!! (:
So, it's the holidays and I don't know what to do!
I want to fix my hair and just go out with all of me friends.
Can't wait to see Emma!! long time no see baby! :D

Snap snap!

2009-11-17T18:54:00.000-08:00

Did a photo shoot with my cousin Azimah Rosli.
There you go. (:
I'll blog soon.

boy, you know how to piss me off.

2009-10-16T05:31:00.000-07:00

well, i'm going through my moodswings today. Sorry if i snapped.

i have no mood to blog much today.

i'm here to say, i'm dissapointed.

tisk.

Fee.

Get away.

2009-10-10T18:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have my AS Sociology tomorrow and I've only just started on Socialization. I have the whole day to cramp my head with all-things-Sociology.

My mood has been going up and down the meter for the past few days. And I think it's 'cause I'm inlike, my finals sucks, and my AS is coming up.

I really don't know what to think of... I think I'm retaining (if that is even possible) I guess my MPRs are fine. but my finals sucked.

I'll hope for the best.

♥

Goodluck to the people who's taking Os, AS, A2.

We'll do great, inshaAllah if we study hard.

♥

I think I like this someone, but I know we're not meant to be more than friends. I just can't explain it in words. When I see him, even in my not-so-good-mood, he never fails to cheer me up and make me smile the whole day.

The thing is, I denied anything going on between us.

Even if people think we look fine together, it's just that, I guess I'm just the one feeling it.

I noticed what I felt about him a week ago. I never thought it would happen since we were such good friends. I'm trying to get over the fact that I like this person more than a friend.

And this CAN'T happen.

But these feelings just came without any warning.

I may have crushes on Wonderboy and Superman.

These feelings were different because I loved the idea of liking them because of their "so-called" hot image. Like fans who praise on celebs.

But after getting to know him, I enjoy being around him, just talking about random things, like usual friends do. I don't know if he actually listens to my crap but he looks like he does.

They say I should ignore and avoid looking for him all the time. But I can't help it, I just love being around him so much.

Though, I'm willing enough to give him away to a girl he could be happy with.

For the past few days, I felt like I couldn't speak to him like I usually do without falling in deeper. Somehow, the only way to make me stay friends with him is to talk less to him, avoid one-on-one conversations. I know he doesn't notice it but, I hurt inside thinking we're not meant to be. I just want to be with someone who I can be around without being called a freak.

Men typically see me only as a best friend because I tend to understand guys more sometimes.

I'm not so ignorant.

It's stupid really, I'm falling for someone I can't have. I usually do.

I may like alot of guys during this year, but only one guy managed to win my heart properly and that was back in February.

I'm more of a friend first then a serious relationship. And yes, a VERY SERIOUS relationship is what I'm after.

He doesn't have to be handsome, cute, rich, poor, or disable. As long as he's got a goal and a passion for the future. He'll be the first to inspire me to do things I never thought possible.

♥

I do really want to explain how I feel but I can't seem to understand what I'm feeling.

I can't get him out of my mind!

I need him out of my mind!

urgh.

make over.

2009-10-01T21:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm dye-ing my hair Dark Auburn. I want to see something different done to my hair. My virgin black hair (did try to dye once but didn't work)

Bye bye black, hello auburn.

Hope everything turns the right shade of colour. ♥

♥

To a lighter note:

Exams Finals are gonna be over TOMORROWWW.

But I have AS in a week. Greaaaaaaaaaaat.

Everything ends at 13th November!

Sighhh.

♥

This 10th of Oct, there is going to be a hari raya celebration at MD.

Not sure yet if I'm coming or not.

There isn't a memo about it so, update update soon?<3

♥

I think I like my ___________.

No worries, it's a guy. But I hope it's just a crush yes?

Friendship is better than a relationship unless it's worth being together.

And my answer is just friends. Sorry.

No hard feelings, but, I'm going with the flow I guess. See how things go. (:

♥

I just broke up with a so-called boytoy. (=O

Again, no hard feelings, it wasn't meant to be I guess.

For some of the people I told, you know what I mean :P

♥

PS: You're such a great friend, that's why I fell for you. )':

I just don't want to get hurt. nor do I want to hurt you too.

It's just complicated.

Heheh yay!

2009-09-23T23:21:00.000-07:00

HAPPY EID MUBARAK EVERYONE!

3 days late but nevermind. :D

I am looking forward to see some old faces, grown up childhood friends, present friends, and relatives, cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

♥♥♥

It's all food, drinks, cakes and sweets. yummm.

And two of my cousins would be leaving today and tomorrow.

I'll miss you guys. ):

Have fun and study hard:

Ayyub Kamaluddin & Amalia Rosli.

Can't wait to see you guys again.

♥

Boooo!

2009-09-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

Good new. Well, kinda.

From a size 14, I am now a size 9.

Happy happy happy

However, some parts is still, "big"

♥ Fee.

Here we go!

2009-09-14T01:00:00.000-07:00

Happy 16th Birthday!!!

Azimah Rosli!

Well, cousin. All the 16 years of you in my life has been the happiest days and nights ever.

No one can top you in my list.

You've been there for me, to guide me, to make me smile when people pull me down. You have the purest heart, though the laziest ass! =P

You are one of those people who I look forward to see and you never fail to make me laugh!

And those memories we have, all the 6 BEST years of being back in Brunei again. You were the very part of why I choose to still breathe and never give up.

And all those sleepovers, hehehe, and the funny funny tantrums I displayed for you during the first year of going to KK with you.

YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF MATHS. All hail! =D

You're one of those reasons why I come to a family functions.

You are never tired of my jokes (at least I think you aren't hehe)

I would cuddle you too much when I see you, even if you don't like it.

You are my secret keeper, my joy-loving-scary viniger & salt crisps and Liverpool Addict.

My personal, favourate photographer.

You are good, not good, FABULOUSLY GOOD, with photography.

True to her passions and goals.

With all the men in the world, I wouldn't give one second to just be with you.

♥

SO! Enjoy today. No one is born 16 more than once.

Unless you've been 16 "for a while" (hehehe lame)

I'm grateful to have you in my life. And I am forever here for you.

May Allah bless you with all the goodness and rock on things in life.

May we grow old and still have our rockin' humour.

Awww, CUCU TANI CUTE CUTE! eyaaaaaa.

Amin.

With all the love from me,

Happy Sweet Sixteen.

♥♥♥ Fee.

Break up to make up.

2009-09-09T04:16:00.000-07:00

Everyone is going in and out of love around me. And I already got over the one I thought could make me happy. But, it still makes me wonder, what could've been if everything wasn't so complicated.

However, when I as just getting over him, I saw so many flaws that could've broken my heart 100 times if we were together. Being single and free brings out brighter things in life. We could see the world in a different point, where we don't have to feel guilty, be depressed of silly things, knowing he or she will never think or look twice at you.

Yes, they might have noticed, but it's not more than a gilmpse.

And yes, it made me 10 times happier to get over him.

But I feel like I could've tried harder, the 100 things that could've hurt me would be just silly things, just being with someone you love is more than you could have.

Being loved while you feel the same way.

Able to be who you are and he wouldn't care about what, his main aim would be to cheer you up.

I can't remember what "real" love is.. not that I've felt it.

First love is another thing.

But love during the age we could think for ourself is another.

Mature Love in other words. Where we won't be scared to express our feelings about anything.

I forgot what it felt like to love someone and is loved back.

It's been years since I've truely felt for someone so seriously.

I don't know when I like someone, either it's just a normal crush or the feeling of love.

There is alot of definition of love:

Self love, Friend love, Partner love, True love, Soul mates, etc.

♥

Boy, if we could've been. :D I'll smile the whole way to every bad thing in a year's worth of tears.

♥

I've been reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally picky with guys, and maybe that is my problem. I just don't see their true side to love. It doesn't convince me at all either they are really inlove or just playing something.

And I also don't believe in falling in love from the internet. I know we interact naturally and with conversations that could be lovely and sweet. But it doesn't get to me.

I believe in meeting the person then contact.

♥

I'm happy for the people around me with their partners, it makes me want to just have one too.

But, I just haven't found the one who could make me blush or smile all day long. I thought I did. But damn was I wrong :P

Love will always come to us when we're not looking.

♥

I should enjoy my single life! I am but I just can't help but wonder what it feelings like to love. Yes, it's fun to flirt around and just come home knowing you're not the only one single.

Being single isn't a bad thing right?

It's just that we haven't found the "right" one.

♥

Can't wait to feel what everyone else is feeling.

With love, Fee.

PS: I HAVE THINKING SKILLS TOMORROWWWWW. :S

2012

2009-09-05T18:28:00.000-07:00

Okay... 2012? believe it or not?

The world might be facing ALOT of destruction but isn't it too soon for Doomsday/ Kiamat.

Thou, doomsday would happen on a Friday in muslim saying.

Ironic that the movie 2012 states it happens on a Friday as well.

And why does every it happen on a December?

Tsunami: 26th Dec.

Doomsday: 21st Dec, 2012? (Not that i believe it.)

But wouldn't this create chaos to those who believe it WOULD happen?

As a muslim were are not supposed to believe this, and I agree. Allah descides the date.

And if it does happen... (:

♥

Until it comes.

With lovee, Fee. ♥

2009-08-29T19:17:00.000-07:00

(BBQ pictures from Ryna, At Syaz's placeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.)

Belated like a months back. Sorry.

Happy birthday to Dearest:

Jeebs, Ryna, Fiqah, Girl, Mao, Faridda, Amali, Syaz, Bieah.

Sorry for the late greets, I greeted personally but, I'm not satisfied. ;)

♥♥♥♥♥

Up coming sexy birthdays:

September
01 - Zaza Rahimin (age 18)

02 - Mo Rahman (age 20), Hafees Isa (age 19), Shahrul Az

03 - Paochii Lee

04 - Prynze Hariz Kazuke (age 16)

06 - Azrin Azreena Rakawi (age 17)

07 - Kim Sufian, Nadzatul Pn (age 17)

08 - Irsyaduddin Azahar (age 20), Andrew Ng (age 18), Wiyah Riza, Nur Khairi (age 17)

10 - Naqiyyah Salleh, Hafiz Salim (age 35)

11 - Khairunnisa Muizzah

13 - Mirin El Oh El

14 - Alvin Hiew, Azimah Rosli (age 16)

15 - Faiz Hs (age 18)

17 - Muhammad Syarif 'Adli, Rashdan Hanieef Haji Marzuki (age 18), Fendi Noor

19 - Yankurt Semenio (age 23)

21 - Adi Aiman (age 18)

22 - Fy Anapah Bangkol (age 17)

23 - Aimi Nadhirah (age 18)

24 - Nazirul Wahid

25 - Dk Nurul Hafizah (age 16)

26 - Meey Hm

27 - Wafe Moharefandi

28 - Azeem Omarali (age 19), Nabil Yusop (age 18)

29 - Didi Malai Abdullah (age 18)

Happy birthday people. (: ♥

Good girls gone baddd.

2009-08-27T21:32:00.000-07:00

The song is very cute. :P

I've started revising a few weeks ago, but nothing seems to stick into my mind.

So, I guess I've got to just study harder.

I'm aiming for:

THS: B, Socio: B, Englit: A/B, ACC: C/D/E

I suck in Accounting, Sigh!! But I'll pass it if it's the last think I do!

♥

I'm also aimming to lose 12 kgs lagi :P

I know it's ridiculous but, nvm.

It could work.

So, I might have to pay 52 days of fastings or 123 days.

With this and working out at night might get me my goal.

♥

It's kinda true, once a good girl gone out partying there isn't a way to get them down from all the fun! It loosen every pressure and all. So have a go at it.

♥

I'm planning a party for MD people. I'm still planning on it thou. So, it might or might not happen.

Exams

2009-08-27T20:47:00.000-07:00

Exams are coming upppp:

-Thinking Skills (THS) 1

10th Sept, 2009

8.00-9.30am

♥

[after holidays]

-Literature in English 3

28th Sept, 2009

1.30-3.00pm

-Thinking Skills (THS) 2

29th Sept, 2009

1.30-3.00PM

-Sociology 1

30th Sept, 2009

1.30-3.00pm

- Sociology 2

1st Oct, 2009

8.00-9.30am

- Accounting 1,2

8.00-9.00am

9.00-10.30am

- Literature in English 4

3rd Oct, 2009

1.30-3.00pm

Bring on the music!

2009-08-21T05:23:00.000-07:00

I can't wait for tomorrow! It's Syaz's belated birthday BBQ/Sungkai party.

I've been having tummy-aches lately. ): sigh..

Tomorrow is the beggining of the fasting month.

Happy fasting people!

♥

You know what pisses me off?

People who can't think for themselves, people who can't even mind their own BUSINESS.

Sibuk jua eh. wth.

Fuck off will you?

Hello legal baby girl.

2009-08-19T15:10:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday Syazwani Usop.

I love you to bits! You're one of the special friend I could have in this life time.
I had a blast, eventhou just hanging out at my home of your birthday was kinda slow and sleepy.

Too many jokes were set loose at Ahan Thai.

Alhamduliah.

Stay sweet my bright star, you're the one of the people who could set me loose and go wild with. You wouldn't care if I was moody or if I was up for blood.

You would tease me and you never fail to crack lame jokes!

AND NO, YOU DONT HAVE A MUSSSTACHE ♥ ♥

"Hello sinorrrr!"

Awwww. You're Legal, and would be driving sooooooon!Siuk siuk babe.

They say good things take time, but really, it happens in a blink of an eye.

Syaz is one in a million!

Can't wait for this Sat love. hahaha With mezz on the grill. O.O
Stay hot and lovely Syazzzzzzzz, kau mamiculoo ku

♥ ♥

With LOADS AND BANYAK AND MANY LAAAB. ♥

Fee.

Man-fast.

2009-08-17T03:55:00.000-07:00

Man-fasting is a very goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood thing to do right now.

why?

1. I've been dissapointed too much.

2. He's just not worth it.

3. I can't even be bothered with 'other' men right now.

4. It hurts.

♥

Well, lets bring out the next boy toy shall we?

With love, Fee. ♥

Rocked us.

2009-08-15T17:45:00.000-07:00

Thursday:

School was okay, the usual things happens. (:

[ However, there was this guy, sheesh! ): Immature jerk! >:( ]

he said something on msn mcm babi.

In the evening I went to my grandparents from Kota Batu for makan makan. And as usual,

it is very rare to see me in these kinds of functions (:

So, they were really reminising of my late grandma. Claiming I look like her with one glance. (:

Friday:

Went to my cousin's wedding, again a rare appearance. Just wanted to see how an actual wedding works with those traditional thingys and all, 'cause i forgot.

Then left, doing hw and all.

Sat:

There wasn't alot of people in Sociology class. I wasnt sure why. So the play happened, but then, ALOT of giggling heheheh. siuk siuk siuk, thank god the chemistry of our group was ubber awesome. if it wasnt it wouldn't be as fun!

I left school early to do a check up on my lungs bla bla bla. Oh man, was i scared or what?!

hahaha I hateeeeeeeeee hospitals 0.0

My meds changed again. And this one is so weird. hahaha. Freaky and yuckky.

♥

OMG, sighhh~

ACCOUNTING EHH. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PASS YOUR STINKIN' TEST? >:(

♥

PS: I know some people are pissed at Chris Brown but, he's worth a second chance.

With love, Fee. ♥

hello stranger.

2009-08-12T07:04:00.000-07:00

Tonight is a sad sad night for me. I just found out that: The elderly lady who used to sell veges in front of Chung Hua school has passed away.

My mum told me a few minutes ago and I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Even the story was hard to swollow.

How I knew her?

I used to go to tuition near that area and would see her every 2 days in a week.

She sells veges on the street, coming up to cars.

Thankfully my dad buy her veges.. I couldn't look at her, too much pity and too much pain was what I see in my expression.

I would always think of her when I pass by Chung hua, hoping she was okay.

But, I came to learn she was hit by a car and passed away.

Cruel, cruel world yes?

Eventhou I didnt know her, I gave her my heart, even if she doesn't know that, in some ways, I spent my time thinking of her and gave her a piece of my heart.

I felt she was one of the reasons who kept me sane, caring and loving really does move people in ways I could not imagine.

Now, not knowing her, I feel the regret. I should have been there to help her even just giving her money. Money is just objects we give away, why not give it to the needy?

Well, I hope you rest in peace.

With love & sadness from the bottom of my heart: Fee.

PS: i knew today i would end up in tears.

Picctorres from Shah

2009-08-10T07:54:00.000-07:00

yes, it's true! i dont know how to smile ):

My new boyfriend! isnt he hot? ♥ ♥

"macam brake kana takan kuat kuat bahh.."

2009-08-10T06:23:00.000-07:00

Up coming matches for DPMM:
17 Aug 2009
DPMM FC
vs
Super Reds
[Hassanal Bolkiah National Stadium]
22 Aug 2009
Geylang United
vs
DPMM FC
[Bedok]
10 Sep 2009
Balestier Khalsa
vs
DPMM FC
[Toa Payoh]
17 Sep 2009
Young Lions
vs
DPMM FC
[Jalan Besar]
23 Sep 2009
DPMM FC
vs
Sengkang Punggol
[Hassanal Bolkiah National Stadium]
29 Sep 2009
Tampines Rovers
vs
DPMM FC
[Jalan Besar]
15 Oct 2009
DPMM FC
vs
Gombak United
[Hassanal Bolkiah National Stadium]
19 Oct 2009
Albirex Niigata (S)
vs
DPMM FC
[Jurong East]
30 Oct 2009
DPMM FC
vs
Singapore Armed Forces FC
[Hassanal Bolkiah National Stadium]
3 Nov 2009
Home United
vs
DPMM FC
[Clementi]

♥

Anyways, SUNDAY WAH CRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZY AND FUUUNNNNNNN!!

The wedding was beautiful! The cake was beautiful and so was everyone else!

I came to realise that, I am somehow related to Syaz. :

The function started at 11 up til 2pm. (well, at least we left at 2pm)

Kaka Nana & Abang boy loooooooked sooo finne! damn.

♥

Rock on:

Fiqah, Qanzul, Ikhwan, Shah, Syaz & Mezz!

themostfunnypeopleeverrr!!!!

I love you people!

We'll hang out sooooon ah ah ah ah?

Like, verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry soon.

♥ with love, Fee.

PS: ): Manutd, you can do better than that.

Here it comes.

2009-08-08T17:51:00.000-07:00

It's finally Sunday, I'm a bit nervous. I'm not sure why but.... hehehe

Lilies reminds me of weddings. As lilies are the most beautiful flower to me.

So, Congrats to Kaka Nana & Abang Boy.

With love, Fee ♥

Goodluck to Manchester United

vs Chelsea.

You can do it.

♥ ♥ ♥

Falling.

2009-08-08T06:14:00.000-07:00

Turn Around

Turn Around and fix your eye in my direction

So there is a connection

I can't speak

I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention

I'm staring at perfection

Take a look at me so you can see

How beautiful you are

You call me a stranger

You say I'm a danger

But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight

I'm broke and abandoned

You are an angel

Making all my dreams come true tonight

I'm confident

But I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you

I knew you could see right through me

I saw my life flash right before my very eyes

And I knew just what we'd turn into

I was hopeing that you could see

Take a look at me so you can see

You call me a stranger

You say I'm a danger

But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight

I'm broke and abandoned

You are an angel

Making all my dreams come true tonight

You are an angel

Making all my dreams come true tonight

Take a look at me so you can see

How beautiful you are[x4]

Your beauty seems so far away

I'd have to write a thousand songs to make you comprehend how beautiful you are

I know that I can't make you stay

But I would give my final breathe to make you understand how beautiful you are

Understand how beautiful you are

You call me a stranger

You say I'm a danger

But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight

I'm broke and abandoned

You are an angel

Making all my dreams come true tonight

You call me a stranger

You say I'm a danger

You call me a stranger

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT7lQp-ZnBg

'cause I love you.

2009-08-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

SATURDAYYYYYYYYY!!! SHEESEHH.

I don't want to do this play bahhh! ):

Not only is one of our group is absent, I have no mood to change into costume bla bla bla fix this fix that. WHY WHY WHY? >:(

I want sir peter to be there!

HMPH!

♥

Thursday:

I was still not in a good mood but little things brighten up my day.

I was fasting yesterday and god, did i waste all my energy laughing my ass off. hahaha, at least it was a happy feeling. Rather than being sad and depressed for no reason.

I was thinking of how the play is going to go on without Relz. Cancel? :)

I've got to do my Accounting hw. and my MPR englit thingy. urgh.

A guy friend of mine told me: TO SMILE MOREEE.

I can't help it okay? I'm too much of a think-er (random think-er that is) than to care how my expression looks like. Yes, i know the look i'm giving is more of a grumpy side but I'm not all joys and smiles okay? hehe, I'm smile when I need to.

♥

Friday:

Pick up my baju for Sunday and go out jalan for Sushi maybe or go see some random people who I need to catch up with.

♥

Saturday:

Hoping the play would be cancelled, and have another day of smiles and laughter since I'm not fasting.

SUNDAAAAY:

I cant cant cant cant waitt (:

♥

PS: Hope the play would be on monday, Block 4 or in the afternoon yes?? If not, the play will happen on Sat, block 4 or in the afternoon.

PSS: lovelies, bring the costume just in case okay loves?

PSSS: I miss you ):

With love, Fee ♥

Baby if you knew I care..

2009-08-05T06:10:00.000-07:00

I AM BOREDDDD.

I'm fasting until Friday (;

Nifsu Syaban

♥

I feel like watching Harry Potter later while doing my accounting homework

&&&

my englit MPR assignmentttt.

I wasn't really in a good mood today. I'm not sure why, I felt like shit! Ish.

Pak-po-laiiii!

>:( shhhhheeesh!

Syaz did a cute drawing of our englit classmates. Cuteeeee!

♥♥

PS: I was wearing a cape. (;

EEEELPOOOEP-TEG-A-EFIL-EEEESSSSAAAEEELLLPPPP

(;

"....hour of hell."

2009-08-02T08:04:00.000-07:00

Well, starting off with Saturday morning. All was well, happy smiles, laughter, teasing, careless morning. It wasn't until Block 4. It used to be the only block I look forward to sometimes to lighten up my mood. That was when Sir Peter was there. We were informed that he would be back in 2010. Well, we all wish you luck and we all miss you like shittt. )': but it's for the better you're there recovering. With Lots Of LOVE.

Anyways, coming back to my story: I was whispering away with two of my classmates Panda aka Adi and Relz. Just the usual things we talk about. Randommmm things mostly. We would giggle and such but that morning took a wrong turn with MR. CC, he unforunately stopped talking (as if we were even listening to what he said) and quote:

"if you don't stop sniggering and giggling over there I might as well come to class and not teach at all. It's either you read up to chapter 25 by next lesson or just don't come at all to any of my classes. But if you do, you three would sit seperately from now on. People here might want to listen to what I'm saying."

Like what the hell.

He would always, ALWAYS tagur what we're doing and say remarks that are so lame and mean, god, I feel like ____________ him! )':

Who wouldn't keep themselves entertained to avoid falling asleep in class? Anyone would.

No one is actually listening anyways. Not only have I read most of the chapters up to 25, but I also listen to what you say even if I'm talking to my friends.

The more MR. CC pushes me away, the more rebelious I feel towards him. Like the other day I kinda answered him rudely. pfft, who cares now. You've totally lost my interest in Englit.

Not only am I worrying about my up coming AS exams I have to worry about how the hell I'm supposed to pass with him boring the shit out of me.

I'm hurt and just plain sick with him! I'm not a teacher's pet. I don't grab attention. I avoid putting myself in those shoes of people who would want to impress him! PFFT.

EAT ME WHY DON'T YOU?

Anyways, I'm putting an effort on trying to learn by myself and hope for the best that I could do this.

Amin.

♥

To the better news. Saturday night I planned to sleepover at Syaz's house. She told me she's bring me to a party. haha (Short notice) So, I perked up my hair and put on some clothes fit for the occation, nothing fancy. So went to her house around 7+ was late an hour for:

Kenken's 18th birthday party

Happy birthday girl! (:

So we had FUUUUNNNN!! Met up with SHAHHHH BEBEHH! \m/ and had all the giggles and so. I also unexpectedly met my childhood friend from UK. Ruddin! I so didn't think that was him (: awww, we grew! (apakan!!)

And there was si denngg (: saying when he saw me :

"Deng, tercium ku VS mu dari jauh ahh."

ANDDDD

Made new friends I guess. (:

We said our goodbyes at around 11.45 pm. Syaz and I all sleepy and tired went back to her place and 15 mins of arriving home BOOOM tidur.

And todayyyyy!! Just stayed at Syaz's place and ate ate ate ate ate. (: I ate sweeeet, yummmmmy, thingsssss. =P

Ohh and had problems in Syaz's toilet! I turned the water the worng way and then it became so hot, mcm sauna! hahaha O=) sorry.

Syaz saw abit tooo much of me. ASTAHHH. ;)

Unfortunately, my brother came to pick me up at 5.

Went home and gone online blablabla, watched TV and here I am now. Vlogggingzgzgzgz.

It's 11.28 pm and I should be asleep now.

♥ ♥

Well, until next time my pretties!!

With love, Fee. ♥

Empire.

2009-07-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

Put together music + MJ + Cotton Candy + The Lost Ship + Single Ladies + Fireworks =

CrazySingingDancingLoudScreamingHappySingleHighPeople.

Well, 3 single ladies bring out the beyonce out of us.

Just before 7pm we were already going crazy.

Watched the fireworks! Siuk. (;

Went in the lost ship and laughed the whole way in and out. And seeing that I was the only one laughing, I think I looked crazier than any of these pictures.

Can't wait for the next hang out, which would be Syaz's sisters' wedding.

This is this funnnnnny picture Relzz toyed with! pacah usul ku!

Well, until next time people.

♥ Fee.
PS: I think I like him again. ): it hurts. pfft.

Birds fly, bitches die.

2009-07-12T02:29:00.000-07:00

Well, sunday sunday sunday. (: Watched the whole The Grudge trilogy the whole day, if it wasn't for the bass I would've fallen asleep even with the surround sound on. EVERYONE DIES. Which sucks. I have 4 things to hand in tomorrow and I think I should start. Maybe later.

With love, Fee.

My heart will always belong to you.

2009-07-09T03:03:00.000-07:00

I miss my grandparents so much right. I'm crying out my heart for them right now. I don't know where they are right now, either in KB or Selayun. I miss being around them when I'm upset, or when I just need someone to snuggle with and talk about random stuff. My nenek haji would just listen to us talk, or make scary remarks about nenek hajah and it would turn either funny or scary. I miss sleeping with them both during our first year back from UK. She would wake me up slowly for school or it was late or "...anak dara lawa mana boleh bangun akhir eh!!"

Well, I'm currently having a fever, I'm not sure why or where I got it.

With or without a fever, I do badly, crave to hear my two nenek's voice. My grand dad doesn't talk so much well, now he doesn't.

And my grand ma's nagging is annoying yet funny and just enjoying to me.

Not having a childhood with them is the hardest thing ever. Remembering them when I was around at a young age they would visit us in UK.

Coming back to Brunei with my grand dad almost losing his memory (Lali) was kinda weird to go through, though I was and still is scared of him. I never get along with him because I think he is the only person who could make me cry by bullying me. I never got spanked by him. ( Alhamdulilah )

♥

Right now, I feel the urge to just look for them and just not go to school and stay with them. I don't know why I miss them soo badly right now. It's just that, my days are going so fast and I can't even spend it with them. What? Am I supposed to just leave them out from my teens-years too?

I see them twice a month maybe.. or non at all, which is just heart breaking. There isn't a day that I don't think of them.. I don't want to say this but: They won't be here long, and I just want to spend my time with them as much as I can!

Every week, I would tell my parents, I want them here, they could sleep in my room and I'll sleep in the TV room. The answer would be either no or "no room". How could a house with 6-7 rooms not fit 2 people?! )':

We would talk on the phone, but I just don't know what to say.. the usual question would be asked by grand ma "bila kau ke sini?" or I would ask "nenek inda tidur sini kah?" my heart would ache to hear the word "esok kali lai." or "karang abang mu ambil jua"

but i would always turn out "mama mu inda suruh"

I would say that I miss her and nenek haji, but I can't physically touch or hug them like I always do. I wish I known them before, I would trade anything and not go to UK when I was a kid. A life time with full of memories of them is more than a life in UK.

I want them to see me do great things until I grow up to 20+ or 30+ even.

As much as I like to run away now to go to them, I have a life to live. Annoyingly so.

I'm just having a hard time right now, and even if there is alot of people who could cheer me up. There wouldn't be anyone like nenek. &heart; ♥

I seriously can't imagine seeing you guys not being in my future.

As you are my Future, Past and Present.

I love kamu like no other, as you have done nothing to hurt me.

♥ ♥ ♥

These tears are for you two, because I love you and miss you like hell.

Ouccch.

2009-07-06T08:43:00.000-07:00

Well, first day of school was fast. I ended up not feeling well during lunch. I wonder why..

I don't think I've got the flu (Nauzubillah) but yea, I'm currently having a headache. Now I know what my holiday hw are, I could now relax and do it tomorrow.

School was funnnnn, yet boring.

For English Lit. we're starting Jane Eyre. We've got a nice book for ourselves.

We were also told that there would be a production of Twelth Night this year.

I don't know if it's a must but I think I'd rather do A view from a bridge. It's easier.

Dear Sir Peter, Please come back, We miss you alotttt! ):

For Sociology, everything went slow but "learn-able" hehe. Observation is really easy.. thou the names are a pain!

For THS, found out almost no one did their holiday homework, (which was kinda a relief, and catching up with what to do, it's just gonna take a few mins to do it.) Copy paste (Y)

Unfortunately for Accounting class, I didn't go in due to feeling abit weird. I feel really tired, headache, tummyache, coughing and sneezing. urgh. I don't want to be sick, even if it's the flu. I don't want it. Must LEARN. )':

♥

I hope I feel better tomorrow.

With love, Fee. ♥

PS: It was like I never liked him, as if he was just another guy. :s

Youth lost.

2009-07-04T02:49:00.000-07:00

No, seriously? Are the holidays been extended or what?

Well, if it's not extended, YAY.

I'm ready to hear the music of being absent and not getting my homework.

Let's get it over with.

PS: it wasn't like i was doing anything bad. Exams babe.

Everybody's fool.

2009-06-29T03:50:00.000-07:00

There is many things I want to say, there is so much things I want to point out. With no hard feelings, I would like to start my post by saying:

Yes, I'm always greedy for love and the things I want I can't always have.

The things I've lost I could not repay back with all the tears that has leaked. All the numbness I feel, all the moods I'm feeling, that's me, leave it alone and I'll figure out a way to come back to my sences.

"Even heroes have their rights to bleed and feel"

I'm much as human as anyone else, let me be moody, let me be happy, let me be what I want to be, I'm not doing anything to anyone that could harm them now, not physically or mentally or emotionally. I've been scarred with all the three of these condition, and I had enough.

I'm bless with the people who could understand that: I am not perfect.

Alhamdulilah.

And I also feel indifferent about the people who still feel hate or dislike towards me. Feel whatever you want towards me, I'm sure I'll live a little bit longer than that yes?

Say whatever you want to say, just get the facts right.

I am who I am.

I am Siti Nurhafizah Binti Ismail. Plainly human with feelings.

I am not trying to rule the world here, I'm just trying to live every other day like we are meant to do in this life.

You might not like the my sad side but, when I do finally break down.. it's supposed to be understandable yes? Everyone BLEEDS.

But nevermind, at least life is being reasonable.

I am happy, but I just want more. That's my problem. Too selfish.

Once I'm hurt now, I cry easily, and when I cry, it'll go on for days.

Just bear with me a little bit longer.

It is hard to believe?

I do not feel hate nor dislike towards people I used to care about? I feel indifferent.

I do not live in hate. It only brings all the "emo-ness" in me. I might dislike, but it takes hours for me to just let it go. Easy as ABC.

I'm done. The End.

♥

Well, this is where it starts. It's nothing to be effected, it's just all around us lately and I just want to point it out to people what it's doing to others.

I'm not trying to hurt anyone. I'm just pointing out.

This world has so much hate, it has ultered our way of seeing the world.

I've learnt my lesson on "sindir-ing" people. There is nothing good about it.

And yes, I'm a sinner. So be it.

But, seeing others close to me do it. It's just disturbingly disapointing.

Let them be, there is no point of hating them and posting things that would make more hate. It's a done deal.

Sexy-nessss.

2009-06-28T19:34:00.000-07:00

Hmmmmmmmm. You think you're better?

BEAT IT!

2009-06-28T02:53:00.000-07:00

One of my idol has passed away on the 25th June, 2009.

May you rest in peace.

And may Allah be with you.

Mikael Yusof Jackson.

You will forever be my idol. ♥ ♥ ♥

A.N.G.E.L

2009-06-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

Monday:

Well, this was an unplanned day at Jimm ♥ house. She took some pictures and these are some of them ( Above)

♥

Sunday:

Had BBQ at Ryna's. YUMMMMMMMYYY~

Oh, and Happy belated Father's day! (;

Love Happens

2009-06-19T19:28:00.000-07:00

Last night I did alot of thinking. I was watching TV and I realised, what I've watched last night was all about trying out the guy you like, or vise versa.

It made me think about what I should do with the guy I like. I guess it's kinda easy for me to let go withou tknowing.

The thing about me is, I fall for someone easily, and I let go easily too.

It's like I'm never serious about what I'm feeling towards them.

But there are some guys that I put an effort on but, as you know, it never came to more than just being friends.

When I want to consertrate on other things and forget about someone, there would always be someone there to make me go head over heels. It's nice and all, but it's just me! I don't ever want to do the first move, knowing I would regret not trying but, it's the best thing to do I guess.

♥

Yes, yes, I'm blabbing about liking someone bla bla bla, but hey Iit's what I have in my mind right now.

Oh and there is something else I want to point out.

Shouting:

"FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-ZAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH"

in public doesn't win a girl's heart! MY GOD!

Just because my name is on my jersey doesn't mean you have to shout out my name!

♥

9 days until school reopens. Sigh. I gotta start on my homeworks and especially with Accounting.

From Syaz's Camera!

2009-06-19T01:27:00.000-07:00

Well, here are some of the pictures they took! I was absent! Siuk kamu ah! ): And yet, I'm the one who's blogging it. (;

Get well soon Sir Peter Holland!

Sorry I wasn't there but, here is the least I could do (;

Can't wait for you to come back!!

With love, everyone in your BE english lit class ♥ ♥

~~♥~~

Well, here is picture taken by Syaz of me at Tungku beach I think.

(yes, my hair is all messed up but, nevermind)

And here are my random photos taken by me.

Yes, boredom strikes.

With love, Fee. ♥

Names?

2009-06-18T07:07:00.000-07:00

Well, Syaz thought up nicknames for herself, me and Mezz:

Me:

Fifilaffsalot.

I think maybe because I laugh at almost everything that moves.

♥

Syaz:
syaaaaaaaaaaaaazzz says:
advrtisement lady =.=

I think maybe she has this tone, whenever she's telling us to take something it sounds like she's adversting it.

♥

Messoni:

Meth; a yellowminded barney.

I think you could guess the reason behind the nickname, but I'm not sure about barney thou.

(; hahah cute eh.

With love, Fee. ♥ ♥

*burps.

2009-06-18T03:35:00.000-07:00

I finally got my voice back! Go away sick sick sick illness! (;

I think I've finally let go of superman.

Sigh.

Well, that's the end of that I guess. I hope I won't like anyone ELSE from NOW. Doubting it but yea.. (;

♥

I'm not in the mood to say anything else.

"Girls hates waiting." Yes, it's true. haha, I hate waiting too. If you could just hurry up the process of replying, that would be great. (:

Bye, with love. Fee. ♥

Come back here to the place we meet.

2009-06-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

ou You know what? I'm annoyed! ish. Banar tah. ):<

♥

Whatever.

As so many has asked me the same question again and again:
"Fee, when are you gonna get a boyfriend?"

I, myself don't know when. Everytime I think he's the right one, he never is. I know teens aren't supposed to fall in love at our age but, it's not like we could help it is it?
I guess being single is a great thing and all, we get to do what we want without feeling guilty or making someone feel uncomfortable about it.
Flirting carelessly isn't a problem.
There wouldn't be anything to think about and pout about at night.
Nothing to worry about. nothing to be paranoid of.
♥
The idea of just being in a relationship is like:
Feeling in love and being loved is just the nicest feeling ever.
Finding someone who could understand the real you is the best thing ever.
Someone to just be yourself and not be judged, and they love you for who you are.
Someone to hold close and tell your ridiculous stories to.
Just snuggle up to them without feeling unwanted.
Someone who could keep up with the moodswings, tantrums, tears and screams.
Someone who'll spoil our greed.
Loving the person endlessly, without care of the world.
♥
Even just having a crush is the remedy of reality sometimes:
It makes you feel something other than the normal feelings, it's more of a happier, cheery feeling.
There is something to look forward to everyday.
All the time I would blush and have the butterflies just seeing him pass by.
Something to think about if you're daydreaming.
It makes you smile more than ever.
The things that would be if everything were in place.
♥
There is also a downside of crushing or loving someone:
We get hurt with the little things they do.
We get all doubtful and wonders why the heck do we even like them at the first place.
The thought "does he even like me?" is just so unbearable!
The doubt that he'll never notice you even if we wear neon lights.
The feeling where we don't know what's with their behaviour or either he's just playing around due to an inside joke.
Well, there are so many things that could break someone's heart.
The only way is to just move on and avoid liking someone yes?

:s sigh. hahaha Well, I'm done pouring out what I wanted to say.
With love, Fee. ♥

Do you think you can find it?

2009-06-15T06:55:00.000-07:00

It's the 2nd day of the holidays and I am liking it! (; I just got back home at around 8+pm from Syaz's place. I sleptover there last night. I had fun!

Her mum complimented on me saying that I am a beauty! eseh! All I could say is thanks!

Sha joined in too! which was a blast! (;

♥

Ahhhh~ the holidays. A time to relax and forget all the things that has anything to do with WORK.

My plans for this holidays are:

1. Do the holiday homeworks given before next week.

2. Learn the chords for the guitar and think of a song to perform.

3. Spa day with Syaz.

4. Memorize the lines and get the costume for the play "A view from a bridge."

5. Lose another 5-8kgs before the school reopens (like that would happen!)

6. Watch all the up-coming movies! ): TRANSFORMERSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

7. Think up something more exciting to do! ):

♥

Starting the holidays with a fever isn't the best way is it? GOD! ): The weather isn't so friendly lately, hot hot hot hot and hot! And there has been fires EVERY WHERE!! ): I hope the poeple living near those areas are okay!

♥

Our English Lit. teacher has left for the Uk to do a heart surgery, I wish you goodluck Mr. Peter Holland and we'll welcome you with open arms and smiles as promised! ♥ !

♥

Sports day! All I could say is: HOT. (:

Well, I seriously don't have anything to blog about, until next time babies! ♥ ♥

With love, Fee.

Sliver Lining.

2009-06-13T20:17:00.000-07:00

Well, in the darkest room there is always a light that shines so bright. A silver lining is always there in the darkest times.

All has been forgotten and lost for the past few months, I have even lost hope of finding the light to my two best friends after hurting them but somehow they have forgiven me for what I have done and so have I. Last night was a miracle, we all said our apologies.

Even if it wouldn't be the same for us, you two would always have a piece of my heart. Everyone has got to go their own way somehow, but I was us to be friends no matter what. Even if I'm no longer a best friend, I'm honoured to be just a friend.

I will always love you two. With love. Fee ♥

~~♥~~

Hello.

2009-06-12T06:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back blogging (; Alot of things happened, happy and also sad things for the past few months. But I'm done and over it.

Well, I've started blogging again for the sake of the holidays. (Getting all bored and all y'know?)

*not only have i heard someone's been using my name to spam people but okay... F* you (;*

Here goes: 12th June, 2009.

Happy holidays people!!

The second term of the holidays. ♥